Funny Jokes – Fresh Dent

Funny Jokes – Fresh Dent

A man returned to his sports car to find a freshly dented fender and this note under the windshield wiper…

“The people who saw me hit your fender are now watching me write this note, and
probably figure I’m giving you my name and phone number so you can contact me and
send me the bill.

You should live so long!”

Funny Jokes – Blonde Jokes – Blondes

Funny Jokes – Blonde Jokes – Blondes….

Q: If a blonde and a brunette fell off of a building, who would hit the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: What do you call twenty blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head?
A: A Space Invader.

Juan Gonzalez

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. “How
was he killed?” asked one detective. “With a golf gun,” the other detective
replied. “A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?” “I don’t know. But it sure made
a hole in Juan.”

Democrats – Must be a Democrat

Democrats – Must be a Democrat

You must be a Democrat if: you believe it is a crime for a Republican congressman to be gay, but I am a gay basher if I will not let my son join a Boy Scout Troup that has a gay scoutmaster.


It is perfectly OK for Barney Franks- a gay Democrat- to have a house of prostitution for gays run out of his apartment that our tax money is paying for.By the way, can someone please tell me why a happy word like gay came to mean homosexual?
It is more awful that our military interrogates terrorist than it is for them to cut off my head on television.

We should just pull out of Iraq and wait to fight them when they attack New Orleans, San Franciso, Miami, and other border towns.

You belive illegal aleins should have all the benefits I have, yet they pay nothing for them. I have to pay for their upkeep.

You believe we should tax the rich. After all all they do with their money is just build more factories and hire more people in order to make them more money so they can build more factories so they can hire more people to help them build more factories……

It is perfectly reasonable to have a Democrat congressman keep $80,000 in his freezer.

Halloween Jokes – Joke of the Day – Geriatrics Halloween

Halloween Jokes – Joke of the Day – Geriatrics Halloween
EIGHT SIGNS YOU ARE TOO OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING

8. You get winded from knocking on the door.

7. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

6. You ask for high fiber candy only.

5. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance
and fall over.

4. People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!” and you’re not wearing a
mask.

3. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and can’t remember the
rest.

2. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your
hairpiece.

1. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

The New Patio

The New Patio

My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the
first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out
in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.

He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more
space. The next day Ray put the cement blocks back down,
only to find that the ground was too hard to keep the
patio level.

He ordered a truckload of sand to be delivered the following
morning. Again he stacked the 100 blocks against the house.

Observing all this, our ‘nosey’ next-door neighbor asked,
“Hey! Ray, are you going to put that patio away ‘EVERY’
night?”

Good News from New Orleans

GOOD NEWS!!!!

BOUDREAUX AND THIBODEAUX FIXED THE LEVEE PROBLEM IN NEW ORLEANS.

THEY PUT UP A HURRICANE FENCE!

I feel so much safer now!